Silk Talons: Chapter 7

The sun was beginning to set on Ul'dah, and the bending rays of light had the giant walls casting long and powerful shadows that danced across the city.  The two had returned to their room at the Quicksand, with Ginal vowing to apologize to her adopted brother as soon as she next saw him.

Nophica forgive me, I was so horrible to them both.

They sat together on the bed, dressed down and cleaned up from the desert's heat.  Selah took her "Kitten's" hands in hers, "Ginal... after what happened today, I can only imagine that you've been through something terrible that this all reminded you of.  I'm here, if you ever want to tell me anything."  

The miqo'te sat for a long moment as she gathered her thoughts, her mind now whirling from a lifetime's memories.  Ginal's heart raced and thundered in her ears.  Faces, sensations, words she had all wished to forget, but never could, rose to the surface of her heart.  

She drew in a deep breath and slowly released it.  "I think there are two major moments that shaped me to be how I am."  Ginal met her lover's gaze as she began to relive her memories.

Another beautiful, sunny day in the South Shroud, as a flock of birds flew over Quarrymill, and a young miqo'te girl, about seven or eight years old, was having the time of her life playing along the bank of the narrow river that ran through the village.

She sang to herself as she skipped stones, giggled as she jumped around to make boot prints in the mud, and let out mock roars as she chased river bugs.  For little Ginal Celah, life didn't get any better than this.

"I'm a coeurl and I'm gonna get ya, rawr!"

Get 'em, get 'em!

"Hey Ginny!" called a young, blonde elezen boy, waving from the top of the slope behind her.

"Hi, Robi!" she answered as she waved back.  Robimont slid down the slope and joined the miqo'te on the bank, helping her chase down and catch more river and mud bugs.

After a couple hours of playing, the two children sat atop the slope overlooking the water, relaxing from their hunt.  The blonde boy looked to his friend with a sheepish smile, which Ginal returned with a happy purr.  After looking away for a moment, the elezen turned back and kissed the miqo'te's cheek.

The redhead blushed at the affection, "Why'd ya do that?"

The boy shrugged, "I dunno.  You're pretty."

The two sat in silence for a moment, looking around at the clouds, birds singing in their trees and the ceaselessly racing water below.

Does Robi like me?

"Hey!  You know what?" Robimont asked as he grinned at Ginal.

"Hm?" she answered as her tail swished around happily.

"You should show me your panties!," the boy's grin grew wider and more mischievous.

The miqo'te blinked and tilted her head, "Why?"

"Because!" came the boy's simple, but honest answer.

The girl thought for a moment, then shrugged and stood, pulling her dress up for the curious boy.

Robimont grinned widely as he enjoyed the show, but the grin quickly faded as his face twisted into a confused expression.

"You're a boy?" the elezen snidely said as more a statement than question.

The redhead blinked in confusion, "What?"

The boy gestured to indicate the small bulge in the girl's underwear, "That.  I thought you were a girl!"

Ginal looked down at herself, then back to the boy as her brow furrowed, "What do ya mean?  Doesn't everyone have one?"

What?

"Stop being stupid!" the blonde chastised as he gave an angry scowl.  "You should have told me you're a boy!" he yelled angrily, shoving the redhead.

Ginal stumbled back, her eyes wide with shock.  "I'm not a boy!  Why are you being mean?  I'm a girl!"

The boy silently judged her as he seemed to mull the words over in his mind, "I've seen other girls.  They don't have that.  That's what boys have, so...if you're not a boy, then...you're some kind of freak!"  He ran up to her and shoved her again, this time hard enough that the miqo'te lost her footing on the slope and tumbled down to the small river bank below.

Ginal trembled from fear and pain as she slowly rose.  She looked herself over with wet, blurry eyes to see her torn and muddy dress, and the scrape along her arms and legs.  "Why are you so mean, Robi?" she desperately inquired.  "I didn't do anything... I didn't know I'm different!"

I'm just a girl...?

Robimont slid down the slope and was upon her with a wide, cruel grin, "Because you're a freak!  And this is what you get!"  He shoved the miqo'te back again, forcing her back into the shallow water.  Ginal again slowly rose, her body shaking even more now from the cold of the river.

Ginal ached from her tumbles and the shoving.  Her tail swished rapidly as she eyed the boy with fearful, desperate eyes.  The dress her mother brought back from Ul'dah that she loved so much was torn, muddied and soaked, and would never be worn again.  She trembled, almost violently, and could hold her tears back no longer. It was as though a dam had burst.

"Just leave me alone!" she cried out.

She turned to try to flee, but the elezen grabbed her by the hair and pulled so hard that she screamed in pain.  Robimont spun her around and looked upon the smaller girl with snarl, "Stupid freak.  You should have told me you've got boy's bits!"  The blonde shoved her back again, and then was immediately upon her.  The elezen brought his knee to Ginal's stomach, quickly followed by a fist to her nose.

The redhead curled upon herself the moment she hit the ground again, sobbing, filthy and now with a bloodied nose.  "I d-didn't...do an-any..." her breath was ragged as she sobbed, and the words would barely come.  She managed to shakily roll to her knees and stand, hunched over with a hand on her stomach.  "Leave m-me...alone!  It's not m-my fault!"

As the elezen's shadow fell over Ginal, she felt utterly dwarfed and terrified.  Her heart raced as she desperately wiped the ceaseless tears from her face.

"This is what you get for being a freak, Ginny!" the blonde cruelly remarked.  The miqo'te turned away made a desperate climb up the slope, while she heard the boy calling behind her, "Yeah, you better run!  We don't want freaks like you around!"

Ginal stumbled her way through the village, still trembling and sobbing with each step.

Don't let anyone know.  Never let anyone see.

They'll all hate me.

Selah looked to her lover with confusion, "You never knew you were different before?"

Ginal shrugged, "My parents never told me.  How do you explain those things to a child?"

"Nobody defended you?" Selah's words were laced with disbelief.

"Mother was a traveling merchant who was hardly ever around.  Father was a healer and an avowed pacifist."  Ginal frowned at the thoughts, "He would never break his vows for anything.  Not even me."

The redhead briefly paused, "By the time we left that village behind, I was terrified to my core to ever let anyone else know what I am."

Selah silently squeezed her lover's hand as she slowly rubbed her back.  Ginal softly smiled at her dragoon.

Fifteen year-old Ginal Celah admired herself confidently in the tall mirror that stood in her room.  Tonight was a big night, and she was going all out to make sure it went perfectly.

Those silver and diamond earrings she was borrowing from her mother sat above her not quite shoulder length hair, with a shining silver hairband tucked in front of her ears.  She spun around to look over her blue, knee length sundress, and looked over her shoulder at the matching high-heeled boots she'd be wearing.  She had even decided on padding her bra, for that extra "oomph."

I look sooo good!  She'll be all over me!

A nervousness began to rise in her stomach, and she drew in a deep breath and slowly exhaled it out.  She looked her reflection in the eye.

She cares about you... She loves you.  She'll accept you.

The redhead stood tall and smiled at herself.  This was going to be a good night.

The sun had nearly set on Hyrstmill, and the daily birdsong was being replaced by the local insects nocturnal symphony.  Ginal watched as the townsfolk made their nightly rounds to light the village's sconces, and she noticed that the mixture of twilight and firelight danced in a peculiar, but lovely way off the bouquet of wildflowers she was carrying.

Ginal stopped mid-stride and closed her eyes as she took in the coming evening.  She felt the soft breeze that wound through the Shroud, and smelled the piney and floral scents that said breeze carried.  She heard the nocturnal insects symphony.  She opened her eyes and saw the bright, beautiful moon overhead.  This wasn't just a good day.  This day was golden.

Ginal smiled as she approached the bridge that rested over the large stream, seeing the pretty, black haired miqo'te girl that stood in wait.  The redhead fondly noticed the way the evening breeze made the other girl's white dress dance.

This is it.  Don't be afraid.  She'll accept you.  She's the one who'll make this all worthwhile.

"A'rikia!" she called enthusiastically.  The black haired miqo'te looked up with a smile and rushed to meet her.

The young lovers embraced and kissed, and Ginal handed over the bouquet, "For you, A'ri."

The black haired girl smiled lovingly and thanked her date with another kiss, "Thank you, Ginny!"  A'rikia then stood back and smirked as she look Ginal over, "My, my, Ginny.  You look...Well, I might have a hard time keeping my hands to myself!"

The two giggled at the thought.

After a brief stroll and some star gazing, the two young lovers found themselves back on the bridge where their evening began.

A'rikia smelled her bouquet with a happy purr, "These really are lovely, Ginny.  Thank you."

Ginal nodded with a loving smile, "I'm glad you like them."

The redhead stood beside the other miqo'te for a long moment, resting on the bridge's railing as they entwined their tails under the shining moon.  Ginal's heart began to race as the familiar nervousness crept back into her stomach.

Don't be nervous.  Don't be afraid.  Just tell her.

Ginal looked to A'rikia and opened her mouth to speak, but immediately closed it.

The other girl looked to Ginal questioningly, "What is it?"  The redhead tried to speak again, but the pounding in her chest again interrupted her words.  A'rikia turned to face Ginal with that comforting smile, "Ginny, if you have something to say, you know you can tell me."  Ginal turned away as her tail flicked about nervously, trying again to force the words from her mind to her lips, but the stirring in her stomach would not be denied.

I can't do it.  What if she doesn't want me after I tell her?  I'm gonna hurl.

"Ginny...please, tell me," A'rikia gently pleaded.  Ginal drew in a long breath, and slowly exhaled.  The nausea and pounding in her chest both subsided as she turned back to face her young lover.

"A'ri...we're getting serious, right?"  The other girl nodded her agreement.  "Then...I need to tell you something important."

The redhead paused, then met A'rikia's gaze, "A'ri, I...I'm a...I have a..."  Ginal began to tremble slightly from the resurfacing fear, but she shook her head furiously as she forced it away.   "I'm...a...I'm a...hermaphrodite." she finally managed.

The black haired girl stood silent for a long moment, her eyes wide with surprise, "You're...a what?"

Ginal peered at the other girl, "Do...you know what that means?"

A'rikia's lips began to turn up in a frown, "Yeah...I know what it means.  So you...have a..." her words trailed off as she pointed down toward Ginal's crotch.

The redhead nodded slowly, "Yeah...I do..."

A'rikia stumbled back a step as she eyed over Ginal suspiciously, the frown deepening.

The redhead's heart began to sink as she noticed the girl's reaction, "A'ri...what are you thinking?"

The black haired girl slowly shook her head, "I...I don't think we should see each other anymore..."

Ginal's ears drooped back and she felt like her heart dropped into her stomach, "A'ri, why?"

"Because...because I want a real woman, not a man...or whatever kind of thing you are," A'rikia explained.

No, no, no... This isn't how it was supposed to go!

Ginal's heart raced in her chest.  Her mind was a blurr as she trembled, and she desperately searched over her young love for signs that this was just a mean joke.  In a desperate bid to save the situation, Ginal stepped up and threw herself onto A'rikia in a kiss.

The black haired girl shoved her back with an angry glare, "No, Ginal!  If this what you really are, then I don't want to be with you.  You're a freak!"

With that, A'rikia threw the wildflowers at Ginal and stormed away.  Ginal could hold it in no longer, and fell to her knees as the tears overtook her.

"I want a real woman..."

The words echoed through Ginal's mind as she aimlessly shuffled along.

I'm not a real woman...?  Then what am I?  How can I be a real one...?

Ginal no longer felt the soft evening breeze.  She no longer smelled the Shroud's flowers on the air, or heard the insect's symphony.  She could barely see the moon.  The night had turned very black.

What am I supposed to do?  

Two boys Ginal's age that she knew walked by her, one elezen and one hyur.

The elezen turned his head to look Ginal over as he strode along, "Mmm!  Hello, beautiful!"  The redhead only barely heard the words, but could see them talking to each other, "That, my friend," the elezen said to his friend, "is a real woman."

"A real woman..."

Ginal blinked as something in her mind stirred.  She knew then what she needed to do to become a real woman.

"Oh, boys!" she called after them.

The two young males turned back to see the redhead stretching up, causing her dress to pull up provocatively, then she bent low to show them her cleavage as she blew a kiss toward them.  The youths stood stunned as Ginal strode away with a playful grin.

A real woman... More woman than any of you can handle.

The hyur took Ginal's hands in hers and held them to her heart, "Ginal...I will never reject you.  I will never use that ugly word against you.  I will never abandon you, and I will never hurt you intentionally."  The dragoon kissed the miqo'te's hands, "You don't do things like that to someone you love."  The miqo'te smiled up at her dragoon, and Selah returned the loving expression.

"And I do love you.  I love you with all my heart.  And...I want you.  I want you in my arms, and in my bed, and in my life."

Selah kissed Ginal's forehead and her closed eyelids, before moving to cover the miqo'te's lips with hers.  "Ginal, my beloved Kitten..." Selah whispered affectionately.  "You're not a freak.  You're a beautiful, sexy, and vital woman.  You have so much to offer, as a lover and a friend."

The lancer blushed as Selah caressed her cheek.

"Let me try to show you just how much I accept you, and love you..." the hyur asked of her miqo'te.  "Let me try to show you how you're the most wonderful woman I've ever known."

Selah gently pressed her lips to Ginal's as she untied the sash the kept the redhead's yukata closed, and the two fell back onto the bed.

Now that she had finally calmed herself, as the miqo'te fell into the arms of her beloved, a new realization took hold of Ginal.  She had opened herself in every way she never though she could, and had given trust and faith an honest chance.  It was terrifying, this newfound vulnerability that made her feel weaker than anything else in her life.

Nothing else would ever make her stronger.