From Ginal's journal:
The day after I moved my things to Selah's room in the company manor, I knew it was time to stop hiding away. I had to start shaking off whatever this is that had taken hold of me, so I decided to visit the Wailing Barracks and practice my form basics with the current crop of trainees.
It was strange to be back for training, when I had previously come so far, and some of the students I sparred with who were still there from when I was, were glaring at me the whole time. Those were the ones who didn't even want me to be titled as Lancer, and their hostility was disheartening. Fortunately, Selah was there to coach me, and she had no problems throwing her weight around a bit to keep people in line. There are many benefits to having such a renowned dragoon as your lover. Gods know I love her.
I went at it for several hours. At first, I felt awkward and sluggish, but in just a few minutes my body seemed to suddenly remember the when and where of each twirl, parry, thrust, feint and throw. By evening, I was sore and exhausted and covered in sweat.
Yesterday, I decided to push myself, so I went to lock lances with Ywain himself. I made it clear to him that I needed him to not hold back on me, and he obliged. It's fun when Selah spanks me, but not so much my lance instructor.
So we went at it again, and again, until I finally started falling back into my groove. I was holding my own quite well, feeling confident and strong as I sidestepped and parried nearly every one of his sweeps and thrusts.
When Selah decided to flank me, it overwhelmed me. Not only did it put me on the defensive in a way I wasn't ready for, but it made me so angry at first that I almost threw my lance down and went at her like I did when we first met. But just as I really felt my blood beginning to boil, I remembered how my temper and my pride have gotten the best of me too many times. It was hard, but I managed to reign myself in. I needed to learn how to stand up against the unexpected, anyway. She apologized after by way of fried sweet potatoes, and our favorite mutual dessert.
And then earlier today, I finally took on a job from Tim. There was some giant gnat that the locals had taken to calling the Prince of Pestilence making life difficult in the eastern Shroud, and all I had to do was slay it. While I was off to a good start with my retraining, I was still really damn nervous, and not just a little scared, to go back out there and face another giant monstrosity. Selah came with me, which makes me need to reiterate how much I love her.
When found the ugly thing buzzing around near the main road. Selah agreed to hang back at a small distance while I engage it alone, but to jump in if I needed. For a while, what seemed like a good few minutes, I had it remarkably well in hand. I faced my fears like a lancer, and it felt good. But, our Prince called to some of its not as large, but still dangerous friends, and that's when Selah leaped into action. The Black Shroud is now minus one very large and overly annoying bug.
These last few days were tiring, but worth while. It's been nerve-wracking and a little scary, but I'm getting better. Selah's been amazingly supportive, and it's even better since she's asking me more often how I'm feeling. I'm grateful to everyone else for their patience and support through all this. Believe me when I say, it's going to be worth it.
I am Lancer Ginal Celah. I am strengthened by my friends, my mentors, and my beloved. Not even the legendary Cancer will truly defeat me.
From Selah's Journal:
She’s getting it back, her old spark and skill. I feel such joy when I see her leap and whirl, slashing and parrying with the dancing elegance that I once condemned as “showboating”. Now I see that it is part of her technique, and that she must add these flourishes if she is to tap into the energy that drives her. She still has an issue with attempting too much, but judgement is something that can be learned, and experience is a grand, if sometimes brutal, teacher.
Of course Ywain and I helped experience along, by setting her the impossible task of defeating both of us at once. She almost lost it then, almost went after us with claws and fangs and pathetic cries of “Unfair!” But life is unfair, and she recognized what we were trying to teach her before she lost control. She reined in her explosive temper, hunkered down and fought, and ended up acquitting herself quite admirably. She made Ywain and me sweat to defeat her, and that is saying something.
Her “final exam” was slaying a nasty giant gnat that has been plaguing the East Shroud. I hate those overgrown insects, and I know Ginal does too. Their maggots breed in decaying Ziz carcasses deep in the forest, and come pouring down into civilized lands, looking for blood. There is simply no eradicating them. All we can hope to do is keep them in check, by slaying them as soon as they pop up, before they have had time to find more carrion to lay their eggs.
Ginal started off solo, and soon she had the king-gnat under control. I helped out with the smaller insects that popped up in support, and we soon had the area around the local aetheryte blissfully (if temporarily) bug-free. We celebrated at the Hut with pumpkin fritters (a local delicacy), blackberries and pints of the local mead. Afterwards, we dropped in at the nearby Sylph settlement to do a little shopping (they do make the loveliest silk!) before returning to Mist at sunset, tired and happy.
As to what happened afterwards, in the privacy of our room, I leave that to the imagination of the reader. (What are you doing reading my private journal anyway?) And if it’s you who's reading, Ginal (I’ve seen you sneaking a peek when you thought I wasn’t looking), you know perfectly well what happened, since you initiated it, you wicked little thing!
And I assure you, it was thoroughly enjoyable.
She’s getting it back, her old spark and skill. I feel such joy when I see her leap and whirl, slashing and parrying with the dancing elegance that I once condemned as “showboating”. Now I see that it is part of her technique, and that she must add these flourishes if she is to tap into the energy that drives her. She still has an issue with attempting too much, but judgement is something that can be learned, and experience is a grand, if sometimes brutal, teacher.
Of course Ywain and I helped experience along, by setting her the impossible task of defeating both of us at once. She almost lost it then, almost went after us with claws and fangs and pathetic cries of “Unfair!” But life is unfair, and she recognized what we were trying to teach her before she lost control. She reined in her explosive temper, hunkered down and fought, and ended up acquitting herself quite admirably. She made Ywain and me sweat to defeat her, and that is saying something.
Her “final exam” was slaying a nasty giant gnat that has been plaguing the East Shroud. I hate those overgrown insects, and I know Ginal does too. Their maggots breed in decaying Ziz carcasses deep in the forest, and come pouring down into civilized lands, looking for blood. There is simply no eradicating them. All we can hope to do is keep them in check, by slaying them as soon as they pop up, before they have had time to find more carrion to lay their eggs.
Ginal started off solo, and soon she had the king-gnat under control. I helped out with the smaller insects that popped up in support, and we soon had the area around the local aetheryte blissfully (if temporarily) bug-free. We celebrated at the Hut with pumpkin fritters (a local delicacy), blackberries and pints of the local mead. Afterwards, we dropped in at the nearby Sylph settlement to do a little shopping (they do make the loveliest silk!) before returning to Mist at sunset, tired and happy.
As to what happened afterwards, in the privacy of our room, I leave that to the imagination of the reader. (What are you doing reading my private journal anyway?) And if it’s you who's reading, Ginal (I’ve seen you sneaking a peek when you thought I wasn’t looking), you know perfectly well what happened, since you initiated it, you wicked little thing!
And I assure you, it was thoroughly enjoyable.
Entry 10, thirty-nine days after Silk Talons: Chapter 8
From Ginal's journal:
When the Twin Adder put up a bounty for some of the Coeurlclaw poachers my team took down weeks ago, who escaped their jailing, you better believe I was on top of it. I hated to ask Selah to set aside some special Scion business she was being summoned for, but truthfully, I felt like I wasn't ready to work with anyone else that I didn't have that same intimate trust in. I'm not sure if she was happy to be free of another of these meetings she typically described as boring, or if she was just glad to help me, but she didn't hesitate to say "yes."
So we set out to scour the central region of the Shroud, and for almost two days we seemed always moments behind our prey. We ended up at the Gabineux's Bower, and stopped in for a meal. That's when I nearly lost my mind with Selah. Turns out, not quite two weeks ago, Selah had a little moment with the Bower's barmaid, and I took to the idea extremely poorly.
But I stopped myself before I got too lost in my insecurities, and I listened to her explain her side. It was after we had seperated, and Selah was desperate to clear her mind of my visage. So while she was drinking and desperate and lonely, she propositioned this admittedly attractive woman, but couldn't go through with it. Considering that the barmaid was willing to return the money for services unused, I believe Selah. I had no idea that she had been hurting so much. I'm sorry I ever did anything to contribute to that.
We resumed our search, and color me impressed when we discovered that the Wood Wailers caught up with the poachers first. This just gave us time to return home to The Mist and enjoy our evening in the hot tub.
We've been doing better than we ever had at finding time to talk, and share, and ask each other whatever we need to. So as we soaked, I asked her something I've been struggling with. I know I'm not a freak, but I've still had some trouble wholly accepting myself as a woman while I'm carrying these extra bits around. So I asked Selah if she saw me as a woman, when she sometimes seems to rather enjoy my dangly bits. She assured me that she just sees it as part of what I am. It made me feel much better.
Then she asked if there's anything I wished she would do during our intimacy that I've not asked for before. So I told her how I wanted her to take me somewhere public, where we risked being caught. It's an exciting fantasy, and the risk of being seen naked and for what I am doesn't seem nearly as frightening knowing that Selah will still accept me, and defend me.
And no, Selah, I believe you're the one who initiated our frisky moment the other day, when you started playing with the base of my tail. That's right, I've seen you reading my journal, too. Looks like we've both been naughty. Who's getting spanked first?
*author's note: It was Ginal.*
From Ginal's journal:
When the Twin Adder put up a bounty for some of the Coeurlclaw poachers my team took down weeks ago, who escaped their jailing, you better believe I was on top of it. I hated to ask Selah to set aside some special Scion business she was being summoned for, but truthfully, I felt like I wasn't ready to work with anyone else that I didn't have that same intimate trust in. I'm not sure if she was happy to be free of another of these meetings she typically described as boring, or if she was just glad to help me, but she didn't hesitate to say "yes."
So we set out to scour the central region of the Shroud, and for almost two days we seemed always moments behind our prey. We ended up at the Gabineux's Bower, and stopped in for a meal. That's when I nearly lost my mind with Selah. Turns out, not quite two weeks ago, Selah had a little moment with the Bower's barmaid, and I took to the idea extremely poorly.
But I stopped myself before I got too lost in my insecurities, and I listened to her explain her side. It was after we had seperated, and Selah was desperate to clear her mind of my visage. So while she was drinking and desperate and lonely, she propositioned this admittedly attractive woman, but couldn't go through with it. Considering that the barmaid was willing to return the money for services unused, I believe Selah. I had no idea that she had been hurting so much. I'm sorry I ever did anything to contribute to that.
We resumed our search, and color me impressed when we discovered that the Wood Wailers caught up with the poachers first. This just gave us time to return home to The Mist and enjoy our evening in the hot tub.
We've been doing better than we ever had at finding time to talk, and share, and ask each other whatever we need to. So as we soaked, I asked her something I've been struggling with. I know I'm not a freak, but I've still had some trouble wholly accepting myself as a woman while I'm carrying these extra bits around. So I asked Selah if she saw me as a woman, when she sometimes seems to rather enjoy my dangly bits. She assured me that she just sees it as part of what I am. It made me feel much better.
Then she asked if there's anything I wished she would do during our intimacy that I've not asked for before. So I told her how I wanted her to take me somewhere public, where we risked being caught. It's an exciting fantasy, and the risk of being seen naked and for what I am doesn't seem nearly as frightening knowing that Selah will still accept me, and defend me.
And no, Selah, I believe you're the one who initiated our frisky moment the other day, when you started playing with the base of my tail. That's right, I've seen you reading my journal, too. Looks like we've both been naughty. Who's getting spanked first?
*author's note: It was Ginal.*
From Selah's journal:
So far, it’s working out pretty well. I had to mention “the rules” a couple of times — clean your boots before you come into the room, don’t drop muddy clothes on the bed, and if you want to read my books, treat them kindly. Putting them open face-down on the table to hold your place just breaks the spine. And you can never really flatten out a dog-eared corner. That’s what bookmarks are for.
But, aside from simple housekeeping lapses, she has been a pretty good roommate. We have started regular talk sessions, which I think of as “naked conversation”, both from the utter openness of communication, and the fact that they usually take place in the company hot tub. We do wear our bikinis (many of the company members are male, and we don’t want to give them “ideas”) but, frankly, those little wisps of cloth leave little to the imagination. Especially when they’re wet.
Since we were being totally honest, she asked me whether I actually saw her as a woman, despite the presence of what she shyly calls her “other bits”. And I had to admit that the answer to that question has evolved as I’ve gotten to know her better.
When you’re a child, you’re taught that the difference between boys and girls (or male and female animals) is all about what kind of equipment they use for procreation. Most of the time, you don’t need to move beyond that. It’s when you’re confronted with people whose self-image is wildly at odds with their body that you start to wonder if your rules have been too simple. And, eventually, you come to the conclusion that a person is exactly who they say they are, body be damned. I have met harem-boys in Ul’Dah who insisted that they were women, and a few outwardly female pirates who stated they were men, and were happy to slit the throat of anyone who contradicted them.
But Ginal is the first person I have met who has both sets of genitalia, fully-formed and functional. So, physically, she is that rarest of creatures, a true hermaphrodite. But in her soul she is a woman, and so a woman she is. And, to be honest, she is much more feminine than I am. I am a sort of neuter creature at heart. I don’t question the equipment I have been given, but my inner self does not insist on being one thing or the other. In my own way, that makes me as unusual as Ginal — just less visible.
I tried to explain this to her, but the important part was my assurance that, yes, she’s a girl. That’s what she wanted to hear from the one person, other than herself, best qualified to make that judgement.
Honesty pays off, and the habits of communication we create in our hot-tub sessions have gradually become part of our daily life. If I had doubted that before, it was brought home by an incident this afternoon.
We had been pursuing some escaped poachers through the Central Shroud, when ran into the Wailer patrol that had just captured them. It was hard to know whether to be relieved or disappointed. But, since there was no question that we were tired and hungry, we decided to stop in at the Bower for dinner.
And, wouldn’t you know, the hyur barmaid was on duty — the one I had propositioned on that painful night when Ginal and I had broken up. She brought us stew and bread and ale. And then she dropped a couple of Allagan silver pieces on the table, saying “For services not rendered,” with a wicked little smile and a wink.
“What was that about?” Ginal asked. Although I think she had already pretty much guessed. She just wanted to hear me confess it.
And so I had to explain, much to the amusement of the other patrons. Which is, of course, why Ginal was insisting on an explanation then and there, as punishment for looking at another woman.
I deserved it. And Ginal, Twelve bless her forever, did not fly into a jealous rage. Though she did give the barmaid a thorough examination before declaring, “I’m much prettier than she is.”
Which she is. In so many ways. And beautiful in ways that don’t show on the surface.
Gods, but I love her!
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