Everheart: Chapter 7

The moon shone brightly in the cloudless midnight sky, as the warm reds and cool blues of the glowing coral could be seen through the glass clear waters.  Lanterns and sconces all over the village kept it so lively that it rivaled Ul'dah as a glowing jewel in the night.

A group sitting at one of the bars laughed and chattered raucously at their inside jokes as they banged mugs of liquor together, and somewhere down the beachfront, Selah thought she heard the moans of a couple given to drunken passion.

All this beauty and revelry came together to frame what was, without a doubt, the worst night of her life.

Worse than the years she lived as a prisoner-bride to the man who tormented her.  Worse than having no family, or even any true friends.  Worse than years of drifting through life with only a hint of purpose.  It was worse than everything she had ever lived through, because she had finally reached a point of happiness and contentment with her life.  Selah had found the things she had daydreamed of as a child, but had since dismissed as impossible and naive notions of youth. 

And here she was, arranging Dinornis' saddlebags while she wondered if she had just made the decision that would cost her the most important and fulfilling thing she ever had.

Ginal, my Kitten...will we fix this?  I wish you understood why this is so important.

"I'll only need to be taken to the Observatorium."  Charlotte informed her daughter.  "Shouldn't take you much of course for Revenant's Toll."  She strolled up to the turquoise bird and held her hand out toward his beak, letting the steed take in her scent.

"He's a strong looking bird.  What's his name?"

"Dinornis."

Charlotte smiled as she gently pat the side of his head.  "He seems well tempered."

"He's been a very good friend." Selah replied.

The chocobo happily chirped as he tilt his head into the caress.  Charlotte offered a small carrot from her dress pocket, which Dinornis eagerly accepted.  Selah smiled absently as she watched her companion finish his treat.

In the eastern field that lay before the great, stone carved manor, stood a stable constructed from fine oak and cypress.  It was large enough to house five chocobos in spacious, comfortable pens, and store a variety of barding made to suit each birds' purpose.

Selah gently ran a brush across the down of a dark blue chocobo, softly singing a song about someone watching their lover sleep by a stream.  She brought the brush to the bird's head, and with each stroke he fluttered his wings happily.  When Selah had finished, she offered the steed a carrot that was happily devoured.

"You're a good boy, Dinornis." she offered with a cheerful lilt.

The chocobo replied with a happy squawk as he tilted his head to nuzzle the girl.

"Are you feeding my war mount treats again?" Geoffrey sternly inquired.  He stood at the pen's entrance with folded arms, his eyes narrowed on the girl in anger.  "I told you before, Dinornis eats a specific diet to maintain his coloring, and NOTHING else!"

The man closed the distance quickly, and even though the girl tried to shrink back to escape him, he took hold of her long auburn hair.  Geoffrey pulled hard enough to elicit a whimper, and brought the back of his hand down on Selah's cheek with enough force to make her stumble aside.

"I'm sorry!" she cried out.  "It was only one!  One of the stable boys said it wouldn't effect the plumage!  I'm sorry!"

"NOTHING ELSE." Geoffrey's voice boomed from within the stable.  He stepped up to her and grabbed her arm, his knuckles and fingertips turning red from the pressure.

Dinornis cawed angrily and swung his head low, ramming Geoffrey in the side and knocking him to the ground.  The bird flapped his wings wildly as the man stared up in disbelief, and Dinornis stamped down on him.  Geoffrey bellowed in pain as the long and thick talon pierced his leg, lifeblood pooling on the floor when he sat.  The steed bent over and again rammed his head into Geoffrey, this time causing him to tumble out of the pen and into hall that joined the building together.

"You stupid little bitch." Geoffrey spat.  "You've ruined my prized war mount!"

A stable hand, an older, gray haired hyur, helped his master to his feet.  Geoffrey angrily dismissed the older man's aid as he limped away, glaring over his shoulder.

"This isn't over, bird!" he warned.  "Nor for you, my dear."

The older man sullenly approached Selah and looked upon her regretfully.

"I'm sorry, young Madam.  May the rest of your sixteenth be...bearable."

Dinornis nuzzled at Selah's bruised cheek.  The imprint throbbed and burned as tears steamed down her face, and she threw her arms around the bird's neck.

She would sleep in the stables that night.



Selah absently touched her cheek, as she once again became aware of the world around her.  The pain had subsided, the throbbing had ceased and the red imprint had faded.  But somehow, it seemed to still hurt.

"That wasn't a very...wifely thing of her to do." Charlotte remarked, patting the war bird's beak.

"She wasn't trying to hurt me..." Selah replied.  "Ginal was just angry."

"I've heard that her race can be impulsive.  You don't need another spouse to hurt you."

Selah closed the flap on the saddlebag and glared at her mother.  "You mean like the one you so willingly threw me away to?"

Charlotte opened her mouth to protest, but no words followed.  She shook her head with a heavy sigh, her shoulders sinking in defeat.

The daughter turned to walk away, but stopped mid-step as her eyes fell upon her bride.  Ginal had slid a skirt on in the hours since parting on the beach.  Her hands were folded over her lap as she kept her gaze to the ground.  Her tail hung still, and her ears were folded down.

Selah knew she was breaking her beloved's heart, and it was hurting hers in turn to know what she was causing.  But she had to do this.  She had to confront this ghost, or learn the truth of this con, or whatever it was that was happening.

And the gods knew she wished Ginal would stand with her on this.

Ginal had never been good enough for anyone in her life.

She was less than a person to Robimont, and had suffered his bigotry and meanness even into her adulthood.  She was less than a woman to her first crush of adolescence, a miqo'te lass who treated her like she was entirely unworthy of love or affection.  There was even a lady of the evening she hired, shortly before she moved to Gridania, who decided early into their meeting that Ginal was too "weird" for her taste.

Ginal had made it a point to tell nobody about that encounter, including Selah.  That Ginal had been considered so undesirable that even a prostitute would deny her was a low point of shame which she had only begun to recover from with Selah's love.  Not to mention, it pained the miqo'te to know that she had been desperate enough to consider throwing away the emotional ties to what was more than just a physical act for her.

But now, it seemed as though she was no longer good enough, even for Selah.  It was the worst pain she had ever experienced.  To stand on that beach and plead with her wife to just stay and love her and forget about the world, to just be told "I have to go" made her very soul hurt.  So Ginal stood before her wife with absolutely no idea what to say or what to do.  Selah had packed her things and readied Dinornis.

Selah was willingly leaving her behind.

The miqo'te wanted to die.

"Ginal..." Selah weakly said.  "I...um...Din's all ready to go."

If Ginal relented and went with her, would it be the same as admitting that she really wasn't good enough for Selah to stay with her?  If she fell to her knees and begged, would Selah relent and stay with her, or would she look upon Ginal with shame and disgust?  Could she plead to her newly met mother-in-law and gain her aid in fixing what was falling apart, or would this woman simply retort with more remarks about them being the wayward queer?

Selah...why can't you just stay with me and be happy?

Ginal slowly drew in a breath, and let it out in a defeated sigh.  "I...think I'll go back and check in with Elysande."

The hyur silently nodded.  She had that look in her eyes that told she was struggling with finding the right words.  Ginal felt her pride slipping away.  If Selah would ask her along at this point, she'd say yes.

Selah slowly leaned down, and touched her lips to her bride's.  Ginal didn't fight it or back away, for she had no idea if this was to be their goodebye kiss.  She closed her eyes and felt her heart sink as the kiss lingered.  Now she wanted to throw her arms around her beloved and proclaim her intention to travel with her.

But if the hyur wasn't asking her along, did that mean she no longer wanted her around?

The miqo'te wanted to die.

Selah had long since learned to control her emotions.  Living bonded to Geoffrey had taught her how to disconnect from pain, her tutelage under Ywain had taught her to face fear directly, and her training as a dragoon had taught her to control her aggression.

So as she pulled away from the kiss with trembling legs, an ache in her heart and wet, blurry vision, she knew exactly what to credit for her raging emotions.  She was going to part from her wife, her dearly beloved Ginal, for a reason that she wasn't entirely sure was good enough.  And yet, she still believed she must go, for she felt the shadow falling over her as though an eclipsed sun.

She had worked so hard, for so long, to escape the pain and heal the scars of that forced bonding.  And she had made so many mistakes along the way in search of that solace.  To feel his shadow creeping back upon her was almost suffocating.  She couldn't live with the uncertainty and insecurity of it.  She had to know what was going on, and how to put an end to it once and for all.

Kitten...please, please welcome me back... I swear I'll never stop making this up to you.

"I'll keep in touch." Selah promised, here voice trembling slightly. 

The miqo'te silently nodded, her ears folded down.  Charlotte looked on with a sadness in her eyes, her weight shifting from one leg to another, before looking away.  Selah went back to her companion-bird and climbed up to situate herself in the saddle.  Dinornis squawked and tilted his head, looking on at Ginal.

"No, Din." Selah answered.  "She's not coming with us."

Selah reached down for her mother's hand, when Dinornis suddenly bucked.

"Din!  Stop that!"

The bird again squawked, throwing his beak forward toward the miqo'te.

"Din, I told you, she's not..."

Dinornis stood tall, flapping his wings and stomping in agitation.  The violent shaking threw Selah from the saddle.  The soil was soft, but the landing was still hard and came with an audible "thud."

"Oh gods, Selah!" Ginal cried out.

The miqo'te was at her wife's side in a heartbeat, helping her back to her feet.  The two smiled shyly at each other, each beginning to reach out for an embrace, but stopping short.  They looked upon each other in an uncomfortable silence.

Dinornis trotted up to Ginal and nuzzled at her.  The miqo'te smiled and hugged his long neck.

"It's okay, boy.  Go with Selah.  She'll need you."

After another affectionate nuzzle, the bird walked back to Selah's side.  She began again to climb into the saddle, but this time the bird wasted no time and bucked and fluttered his wings, forcing her back.  Selah folded her arms over her chest and frowned at her companion.

"Gonna make me hoof it the entire way, huh?  What about her?" she indicated her mother.

Dinornis squawked with a quick, sharp tone that Selah recognized as annoyance.  She shook her head, and turned back to Charlotte.

"He's not letting us on him, Mother.  We'll have to do a lot of walking through some parts."

Charlotte replied with a sharp sigh, "And why hasn't anyone made it to where the aetheryte towers can transport chocobos, too?"

"Don't ask me, Mother."

Selah took one last look upon her bride, and felt her own heart on the verge of completely shattering. She looked so beautiful in the mixture of moon's and torch's light, with those heavenly emerald eyes and their gentle glow.

Why in all the seven hells was she so compelled to do something that felt so wrong?