1 day after the Cancer Incident
Ginal:
Everything aches... I can barely breath... I can't hardly stand. Lupe says I'm stable? I don't feel stable.
Selah:
She is so pale. I was really afraid we would lose her during the aetheryte evacuation. Was it wise to bring her home? I guess so, but she's so weak. All I can do it hold her hand.
Ginal:
She's never held my hand so tight. She looks...afraid? I wish I were still angry. I want to be, but... Please just be here, Selah.
Selah:
Why isn't she talking to me? Is she still so angry that I left her undefended? She can't be anymore angry than I am at myself. Such a stupid thing to do... No place in Eorzea is completely safe, even Costa.
Ginal:
I'm a miserable burden on her, aren't I? Again I needed to be saved. I can't even distract one damn monster right. And... Damnit, I can't ever hold my arm up well enough to feed myself.
I'm sorry, Selah... I'm sorry.
Selah:
She's giving up on me, I can feel it. Please Ginal--give me another chance! I can do better!
3 days after
Ginal:
My muscles don't ache so bad. I can stand up and feed myself. At least she won't have to worry over that anymore.
Selah:
The healers say she's making good progress. It just feels so slow. She can walk a little now, and eat, and use the latrine on her own. But she isn't talking to me, not really. Just "hello" and "goodbye." It's like she's being forced to be civil.
I love you so much, Kitten, but I'm wondering if I'm really good for you. Gods, I'm so sorry.
Ginal:
I feel so ashamed of myself. She's barely speaking to me, and I know why. I can't be who she needs me to be at the parties she wants to go to, and I can't even fight on my own. I can't look her in the eye anymore. I feel so worthless.
Selah:
I'll leave these wild roses I picked by her bed. She's still sleeping, I don't want to wake her. I'll just sit here.
Am I going to lose you, Kitten? My heart feels like a lump of lead.
5 days after:
Ginal:
She wants me to stay in her room in the Company manor. Or does she just feel obligated to watch over me?
Selah:
Please, please give me another chance! You can even drop your boots on the bed, I don't care. I just want you in my arms. Is it too late even for that?
I can barely breath when I look at you.
Ginal:
Why won't she just talk to me? Are you just that angry at me or tired of me? I love you so much, but everytime I try to say it, I choke. Would you even say it back?
Could you?
Selah:
I ache to tell you I love you, but it would be unfair if you don't love me back. If we can just have one good night together, wouldn't that fix everything? Please?
Ginal:
Oh Gods, I need to be with you, Selah. I'm so pent up and hot and...and what if I can't do that right, either? Your kiss and your touch feel so good, but what if I can't satisfy you? I can't bare to let you down again, so...
Please, just hold me through the night.
Selah:
She pushed my hand away! Oh, Gods, she's never done that before! How she must hate me! Her body is responding to my touch, but... I hope she can't feel me crying as we lay here.
Is it time to let her go? I can't face this. Put me before a thousand monsters, but don't make me face this.
7 days after:
Ginal:
It isn't just with Selah. I'm completely broken. I can't do anything anymore. I feel like I've lost something, but I don't know what. Oh Gods, even these fungaurs and boars are frightening to me now. I can't even help Selah gather Shroud fruits!
Selah:
She's like a frightened child now, and I don't know what to do. That baby boar that came sniffing around made her run off and hide. When I chased it away, she collapsed into a sobbing mess.
I'm the one who broke her, aren't I?
Do I have the strength to do what I need to do?
Ginal:
I can't do this anymore. I've always held her back. I've never been good for her. But now, it's worse than ever. I've dragged her so far down that I've completely taken over her life.
I love you so much Selah, my Lady. I only hope you can forgive me someday, and reclaim the life you lost to me.
Selah:
I know it's up to me to break the bond. But how can I? I hold on, day by day, and hope to find a way to let her have her life back, as it was before I ruined it.
If I talk to Miounne, would she understand?
No, I can't talk to Miounne. I made this mess and now I have to fix it. Alone.
Ginal:
And now, I free you Selah. Go and find the greatness you were destined to.
Entry 7, twenty-six days after Silk Talons: Chapter 8
From Ginal's journal:
I've lost my way. My courage. My love.
My life has fallen apart.
From Selah's Journal:
<The majority of the sentences written have been smeared by tear drops. Only the last sentence is legible>
I've lost the only one I've ever loved. And ever will love.
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